Thursday, April 23, 2009

Lynn Poh and the art of selling property

Lynn Poh has come into the spotlight for working as an estate agent for the property firm ERA.

But how well is she doing?

Well, here’s an exclusive transcript of a conversation that (supposedly) took place recently with a prospective buyer called Mr X:

LP: What sort of property are you interested in?
Mr X: (looking at Lynn) errr, a large one.
LP: So you’d like something big?

 Lynn Poh
Mr X: Yes, BIG…
LP: Oh I see - you must have a large family then – wife and kids?
Mr X: NO.. NO.. NO!! Absolutely not! I don’t have any kids and I certainly DON’T have a wife… (smiling at Lynn) …in fact I don’t even have a girlfriend…
LP: But you were saying you needed a big house.
Mr X: Errrrrrr… well, yes, if friends or family visit you know.
LP: Oh I see. I think I know a place. Let’s go there now.

Twenty minutes later…

LP: This is a lovely house isn’t it?
Mr X: Yes… beautiful. How many bedrooms are there?
LP: Four. Come on… follow me upstairs…

 Lynn Poh LP: So spacious, the master bedroom.
Mr X: And romantic!
LP: Yes, you could say that.
Mr X: I can just imagine being here at night… Do you mind if I take my time and look around a bit?
LP: Sure, no problem (seeing a sofa in the corner, LP sits down)

 Lynn Poh Mr X: Wow! That looks comfy!
LP: It certainly is! So what do you think?
Mr X: I love it!
LP: So you’d like to buy it?
Mr X: The sofa?
LP: No the house of course!
Mr X: How much is it?
LP: Oh a bargain. Special price for you: S$2 million.
Mr X: S$2 million?!!!!!!
LP: Cheap huh?
Mr X: Well… I’m not so sure…
LP: How much can you afford?
Mr X: Er…S$50,000 maybe S$55,000…
LP: @#$@!!!!! I’m going!!!!! Thanks for nothing, time waster!!!!!!!
Mr X: Wait! How about we have dinner together this evening?
LP: @#$@ you!!!!!! (storms out the front door and heads over to the swimming pool…)

This blog post is completely fictitious. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.


Great art of selling property.

Paula M
philippine real estate

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